What you are telling me sounds like the Mom I remember from my youth. Not someone who is weak, just someone who is connected. I would rather you cry, than not feel connected. As for the worry part...I think Grandma Smith told you that you were a ninety year old woman who worried too much, and you were a young mother at the time. Old dogs continue to perform their old tricks? You can dress a monkey in pearls and a skirt and it's still a monkey? Even when you took Zoloft you worried....
As to the Elderly. We are supposed to feel for them. President Monson still tears up when he talks of his visits with his 85 widows. He talks tenderly of them and about them. We don't need to worry for them though. I believe the Lord has them here to teach us lessons, like he does of the mentally handicapped. We know they are precious in the sight of God. They are being reserved here on earth to earn their bodies. Maybe their spirits need more time for refinement...we will know all things soon enough. For now, enjoy them.
One time when I was holding Dorothy H.'s hand, I was talking with her and telling her about my busy morning. She hasn't been able to talk for ten years. While I was explaining to her why I not as happy as usually, she looked in to my eyes, gave my hand the biggest squeeze that she had been able to ever give, and smiled. I looked in to her beautiful blue eyes, and the spirit bore testimony to me that God knew her. I then had the impression that I was supposed to tell her that. I said, "Dorothy, I know God loves you. He is mindful of you and He hasn't forgotten you." She started to cry. I started to cry. Whenever I walked in the room after that, she would find me and hold my hand. I still cry when I think of that moment. Whenever I was with those people, I treasured my time. I would be so sad when I would go in one day, and find out that one of my best friends had died. At first it affected me greatly, then I realized how happy they were to be rid of that infirm body and to once again be reunited with spouses and children who had passed on before.
In the research that I have done, the music that we have loved for years and sung for years: hymns, Primary songs, patriotic songs, etc. are keys to unlocking the mind. There were many patients that I worked with that were content to sit and observe, not being able to speak or communicate in any way, but as soon as I started singing songs from the 40s or 50s, hymns or play songs, there would be a spark in their eyes, and they would start moving their hands and singing along. When I was singing to a woman named Rita, she started singing with me. Her daughter, who visited multiple times a week, walked in, stopped and listened to us (I couldn't see her, she was behind me). Rita looked up to her and sang her a song. The daughter commenced to sob. It was the first time in years that she had heard anything other than babbles coming from her mom. The daughter continues to sing to her mom daily as part of their morning routine, and they share many smiles and hugs afterward.
I have been studying about hope. There is so little of it in our world anymore...and because their is so little, people despair.
Elder Uchtdor spoke in the April 2013 General Conference about Hope.
"There may be some among you who feel darkness encroaching upon you. You may feel burdened by worry, fear, or doubt. To you and to all of us, I repeat a wonderful and certain truth: God’s light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things. It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn.
"This is 'the Spirit of Jesus Christ,' which gives 'light to every man that cometh into the world.' Nevertheless, spiritual light rarely comes to those who merely sit in darkness waiting for someone to flip a switch. It takes an act of faith to open our eyes to the Light of Christ. Spiritual light cannot be discerned by carnal eyes. Jesus Christ Himself taught, 'I am the light which shineth in darkness, and the darkness comprehendeth it not.' For 'the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.'
"...The very moment you begin to seek your Heavenly Father, in that moment, the hope of His light will begin to awaken, enliven, and ennoble your soul. The darkness may not dissipate all at once, but as surely as night always gives way to dawn, the light will come....Lift up your soul in prayer and explain to your Heavenly Father what you are feeling. Acknowledge your shortcomings. Pour out your heart and express your gratitude. Let Him know of the trials you are facing. Plead with Him in Christ’s name for strength and support. Ask that your ears may be opened, that you may hear His voice. Ask that your eyes may be opened, that you may see His light" ("The Hope of God's Light," Ensign, May 2013, 75).
"Hope is a thing with feathers, that perches in the heart." ~ Emily Dickinson
Allow yourself to feel hope. Mom...worry about the things you can change. AnnMarie will tell you that. I know she worries, but she knows that she is one person who can only do so much, and where she falls short, she asks for God's help. Wherever you don't feel like you have hope, it is the adversary working on you. Where faith and hope are, fear and doubt can not reside. Instead of gardening a weed bed of fear and doubt, plant flowers of hope and faith. Hope on.
Love you much!
Mel
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