Shawn's Letter to the Bender Family

Thanks Mom. I did send them an email which I will share with you, just being what little I can remember upon short reflection.

Dear Bender Family,

It was with a heavy heart that I received the news yesterday of Ryan’s passing. I had just been to the funeral of a great uncle the day before, who had lived a long life, but had died suddenly and quite unexpectedly. We do not know if our pilgrimage here on the earth is short or long, but I do trust in our loving Heavenly Father, and in the atonement and resurrection wrought by his Only Begotten.

I do hope that in these hectic and sad days ahead, that you will be able to find time to sit with family members and relate and record some of the good memories you have from his life. That is so important, to have those become part of the family histories of the parents and of each of the siblings. I trust that he has quickly made himself busy in the work of the Lord on the other side, so it is up to us to keep our hearts turned to a memory of those who have passed on, and to the legacy they leave for us.

I do not have much to contribute to a history, since he was older than me, but I did want to say what I remember about him. I do remember that I simply always saw him as being wise. Looking back on what I remember of him from my youth, I remember him as someone who liked to put in an extra effort in his school work and extra-curricular activities. I guess I could surmise by saying that I remember him as someone who was sober in his youth (even as Moroni). I also remember him being a good moderator/mediator when it seemed youthful neighborhood tensions ran high, when we would have little spats during games or what-not, which indicates that he was a caring person. That is how I remember him. I of course, can no longer remember what any of those spats were about, probably some interpretation of game rules or something that no longer matters, but I do recall him as being a well reasoned and caring person.

Sincerely,

Shawn Trauntvein

From Myrna:

Dad would like you to send your e-mail that you wrote to Benders to all the family. Actually, he wanted me to do it but, after the messages I received from the family about honoring privacy, I would rather you would do it than have me do it.

Anyway, we were both highly impressed and touched by what you wrote. I wish I had your gift for writing. This is beautiful. Love, M

Shawn wrote:

Oh, but Mom, you do. I only try to follow in your footsteps, and even though you are shorter than I am, I still have to lengthen my stride to do so.

From Myrna:

OK, you pushed my tear button for today. I LOVE YOU! 

Ryan Bender Died

Myrna wrote:

How many of you, friends of the Russell and Colleen Bender family, know that their son, Ryan, died yesterday? He was living in Germany, working for the government and had been at an Elder's Quorum party where they played "extreme frisbee." Colleen said that he had just left the party with some of his friends and went to see the new medical lab his one friend, a doctor, had set up. When he got inside, he sat down immediately. His friends asked him if something was wrong and he said, "Yes." He then collapsed. They tried saving him and called the ambulance. He could not be saved. He was dead. They think it was either a heart attack or a stroke. He was 51. He had never married. His funeral is pending. It will depend on when the military completes all the paperwork and can ship him home.

Russ and Colleen's e-mail address is: rcben32@sisna.com


Shawn wrote: Thanks Mom. I did send them an email which I will share with you, just being what little I can remember upon short reflection.

Dear Bender Family,

It was with a heavy heart that I received the news yesterday of Ryan’s passing. I had just been to the funeral of a great uncle the day before, who had lived a long life, but had died suddenly and quite unexpectedly. We do not know if our pilgrimage here on the earth is short or long, but I do trust in our loving Heavenly Father, and in the atonement and resurrection wrought by his Only Begotten.

 I do hope that in these hectic and sad days ahead, that you will be able to find time to sit with family members and relate and record some of the good memories you have from his life. That is so important, to have those become part of the family histories of the parents and of each of the siblings. I trust that he has quickly made himself busy in the work of the Lord on the other side, so it is up to us to keep our hearts turned to a memory of those who have passed on, and to the legacy they leave for us.

I do not have much to contribute to a history, since he was older than me, but I did want to say what I remember about him. I do remember that I simply always saw him as being wise. Looking back on what I remember of him from my youth, I remember him as someone who liked to put in an extra effort in his school work and extra-curricular activities. I guess I could surmise by saying that I remember him as someone who was sober in his youth (even as Moroni). I also remember him being a good moderator/mediator when it seemed youthful neighborhood tensions ran high, when we would have little spats during games or what-not, which indicates that he was a caring person. That is how I remember him. I of course, can no longer remember what any of those spats were about, probably some interpretation of game rules or something that no longer matters, but I do recall him as being a well reasoned and caring person.

Sincerely,

Shawn Trauntvein


Ann Olsen wrote: Thank you for letting me know about Ryan Bender and I appreciate getting Colleen & Russ's e-mail address so I can contact them.   My heart goes out to their family.

Love,
Ann

Myrna wrote: Dearest Shawn, I wish I had your gift for writing. This is beautiful. Love, M



Shawn wrote: Oh, but Mom, you do. I only try to follow in your footsteps, and even though you are shorter than I am, I still have to lengthen my stride to do so.

For Merle

This earth lost a beautiful person when my dear Uncle Charles died. Of course, I know the spirits on the other side were happy to welcome him. Uncle Charles was the uncle of my father, Howard Pitts, and the brother of my grandmother, Ruth Edwards Pitts. He gave a wonderful talk at my father's funeral. I so appreciated that, as did the rest of the family. He was a great man and was so kind and giving. He and Aunt Merle always attended the great events in my life. Beyond that, when my children went on missions, they were there; when they were married, they were there. My husband, Leonard, also loved Uncle Charles and shed tears when he read me the obituary this morning. He has been calling our children to let them know of his passing. He so enjoyed the part of the obituary so obviously written by Uncle Charles. In all aspects, he was my "great" uncle and I love him and will miss him. Leonard and I want to let you, Aunt Merle, and the family know that you are loved and that you have our sympathy. Aunt Merle, we also think that you are a great woman and pray that our Heavenly Father will comfort you at this time.
~ 
Myrna Trauntvein,
Nephi, Utah

Memorial for Uncle Charles

April 23, 2009

This earth lost a beautiful person when my dear Uncle Charles died. Of course, I know the spirits on the other side were happy to welcome him. Uncle Charles was the uncle of my father, Howard Pitts, and the brother of my grandmother, Ruth Edwards Pitts. He gave a wonderful talk at my father's funeral. I so appreciated that, as did the rest of the family. He was a great man and was so kind and giving. He and Aunt Merle always attended the great events in my life. Beyond that, when my children went on missions, they were there; when they were married, they were there. My husband, Leonard, also loved Uncle Charles and shed tears when he read me the obituary this morning. He has been calling our children to let them know of his passing. He so enjoyed the part of the obituary so obviously written by Uncle Charles. In all aspects, he was my "great" uncle and I love him and will miss him. Leonard and I want to let you, Aunt Merle, and the family know that you are loved and that you have our sympathy. Aunt Merle, we also think that you are a great woman and pray that our Heavenly Father will comfort you at this time.

~ 

Myrna Trauntvein,

Nephi, Utah

Melanie wrote: I know that some of us left memorials at the russonmortuary.com website. I didn't know if you knew that there were two guest books that were being signed. 

Mel