There is a Do Not Call List

Myrna wrote: Please do not send a card, an e-mail, a letter, a call or in anyway contact Uncle Don and Aunt Thelma. It turns out that he is not telling Thelma what is the matter with her for now. He has not discussed the problem with his children. Nathan's wife alerted her father, Dr. Stone, that he needed to help Thelma because something was dreadfully the matter with her. He contacted Don and they set up a physical examination where it was determined what was the matter. Therefore, Nathan and his wife know what is wrong. Jens and Carolyn know something is wrong. The rest do not and, apparently, none of the grandchildren know. That is the way of it. 

Whatever decisions have been made by Don, it is his decision to make. I do want to know, if anything of the like happens to me, as does Dad. 

I have caused much grief by not knowing, nor understanding, that I should not have sent e-mail information to Don. Helen thought that Thelma never used the computer. However, she does use it on a limited basis. Since this is all a secret from her, Don was afraid that she might see one of the mailings. He has been upset with me. He tried to call me to scold me but, luckily for me, Dad and I were not home. He talked to Helen about it and she relayed the information to me. He was also upset with himself and Helen that, even though he had granted permission to Helen to tell Eva and Dad, he had not made it clear that it was a secret being kept from the family in general and from Thelma herself.

Please keep their secret. Do not discuss it with anyone.

Love, M

Dear Helen From Myrna

I appreciate your expressions of love. I understand where Don is coming from and I will stay out of things. He is in the early stages of grief and I recognize that. I am alerting my children that they are to keep secret something that I should not have revealed. I am too open a person--if I bleed I usually end up bleeding all over everyone, not just myself. I did not understand that the information about Thelma was to be kept private and secret. I probably would have emoted to my children, who are my confidants, at any rate. However, they are used to me and the way I react to sadness, worry and concern. They just let me emote and let it go.

I know that is how you feel with Nanci and why you talked things over with her. Now that they have grown up, our children, they have become good friends to us, have they not?

I also believe that all family members want to be educated on all issues that concern any one of us. I do a lot of studying about the issue of senile dementia because I have concerns that I may have passed a physical weakness on to my children because of my own heritage. Therefore, for years and years, I have had an interest. In fact, our one doctor friend (Dr. Tatton) told me once that I probably knew as much as he did about the subject. A compliment but probably not true.

The love between us (Helen and Myrna), as family members and as sisters, is not affected. I will always love, admire and stand in awe of you and of all you have accomplished in life. That has not changed. I find no fault in you. I understand Don and his feelings. Could I undo anything, it would be undone. However, we all live with our choices, innocent or not. When one of my sisters became angry with me, she said that she would leave my God to judge me. She did not mean it kindly at the time, though she has mellowed some since, but she is right. My God will be my judge for he knows me well and knows the intent of my heart. My fault is that I should emote more to Him and less to others.

Remember, that you only wanted to do the right thing. You always have shown love and concern for others and you always will. That can cause you problems from time to time, to your view, but it can also bring you a lot of devoted fans (me included).
Let's just put this to rest. We will continue to love and pray for Thelma and for Don. I will put their names on the prayer roll. However, it is probably best if he does not know anything about any of that. His heart is too raw right now. I am sorry, if by e-mailing him I have caused him extra grief. I sent too much information too quickly. But I am done. I will not send more. That is the end.

Let us both look forward to a happy new year. A chance to begin again, repent, change, start over. I know that is what we should do every day, right?
I do love you, M

A special New Years Eve‏

Dearest Sister:  It is 5 p.m. on New Years Eve day and I have just arrived home. Left early this a.m. to work at the Ft, Union Distribution Center- Were extemely busy today.

Myrna, please be at peace with the situation of having sent e-mails to Don. As I told you when I called him back later last night, after he had called me about his concern, I did tell  him I accepted responsibility for having you send the article from the Readers Digest- told him you and I had spoken about it with you wanting to know whether I thought it would be okay. I told him I told you yes- my apology to him for anything he felt would intrude in not having information available to Thelma was given. I told him since he called me I had called Eva and you. He did tell me last night he doesn't want either Eva or myself to call to talk with Thelma, as she isn' t functioning too well on the phone. I reasured him his requests will be honored. He did tell me Dr. Stone had told Don not to say anything to Thelma right now- they have an appointment with Dr. Stone in the next week or so, to do further evaluation. Don is really trying to protect her as we can all appreciate.

This whole situation is quite devastating for all and has quickly made necessary some very drastic changes in their (Don and Thelma's lives.)

Myrna; please be at peace- I told Don intentions were good, there was no malintent.
Don is just having a terrific time right now and as he told me when we talked thd Friday before christmas he said he just didn't know what to do. This to be sure is about many things that are coming very quickly.

Oft times each person needs time to take a deep breath and reqroup- for Don this isn't an opinion at this time.

I want to apologize to you for having you go ahead and sent the article from the Digest- it would have been most appropriate for me to  indicate to you to not send anything until I had asked Don about it. So dear, I accept responsibility as I told Don- and I think we just the situation go and be extremely charitable to all-- it is a challenge, to be sure, none of us would choose, it the choice was ours.

All I can say is lesson learned for me- by now with all the years and various experiences one would think I would be ready to sprout wings and wear a halo-Guess what???Just isn't so.

Also, dear, as you and I spoke the other day you indicated you had always felt Thelma, Eva and myself had somethng going to us that you didn't and as a result you didn't feel quite up to us.( this may not be exactly what you said or meant, but was my perspection of what you said.)

Myrna, please know there is no truth in your perception as far as I am concerned. We are all very different, as was intended by our Creator, we all have gifts, different to be sure, and all have strenghts--all of this is a divine, eternal plan. Father and the Saviour has never and will never compare us or judge us except on our on merits. We need to be charitable with ourselves and do the same. Well, dear, I am going to close, clean the house, fix some supper and just enjoy the Christmas tree, decorations and all.
Please know how much I love and appreciate you dear- you could not be dearly to me if you were my blood sister- because gospel Sisters are all from the lineage of our Father and Mother in Heaven.

Have a special night and tomorrow with your family.

Love--Just me --your eternal Sister-Helen