Poetry Punctuation

Kirsten, I am seeking your help. Should the comma after wept be a period instead?

Easter Morn
First Easter morn, a world asleep,
Awake, arise, all you who weep.
For on this holy day we find,
Our Savior, Lord, freed all mankind.
Saved from death all those who wept,
Emmanuel His promise kept.
~Myrna Trauntvein


Kirsten wrote: I guess it depends on your meaning.  If I remember right, poetry doesn't have to follow the same rules, right?  On first line, I would end with a semicolon or period.  Change the comma on "For on this holy day," instead of "for on this holy day we find,".  I might do semicolon after wept because your joining the two concepts.

Does that help?

Love you!
Kirsten


Myrna wrote: Thank you! I read and re-read and decided to ask for help. I just now remembered that, if you write it out as sentences it helps. You were right on. Actually, it is better if poetry follows the same punctuation rules as regular writing. Word order can be changed for poetic effect but not punctuation.

Easter Morn
First Easter morn, a world asleep. Awake, arise, all you who weep. For on this holy day we find, Our Savior, Lord, freed all mankind; saved from death all those who wept. Emmanuel His promise kept.

(Unless, of course, you are e.e. cummings.)


Kirsten wrote: Why did you choose to place the comma before "Our Savior?"  I think it reads fine without it.  Wondering if you did it for emphasis.

Kirsten


Myrna wrote: I did it for emphasis. I hope that was the right choice. When I was young, I didn't worry so much about little things. Age has made me concerned over little commas. I just realized that I misunderstood your advice of, "Change the comma on 'For on this holy day,' instead of 'for on this holy day we find,'." The following is what you were thinking, right? UGH! I have now run it off and I don't know that I want to do it again. It is my verse for the Easter cards.


Easter Morn (This is your idea of the punctuation?)
First Easter morn, a world asleep.
Awake, arise, all you who weep.
For on this holy day, we find
Our Savior, Lord, freed all mankind.
Saved from death all those who wept;
Emmanuel His promise kept.


(This is what I did.)
First Easter morn, a world asleep.
Awake, arise, all you who weep.
For on this holy day we find,
Our Savior, Lord, freed all mankind.
Saved from death all those who wept.
Emmanuel His promise kept.


I just realized that the first line needed the punctuation changed from a period back to a semicolon or else it would be a sentence fragment. Do you know me? Do I have a name? I swear I am just wearing a box on my shoulders. It's an empty one at that.

First Easter morn, a world asleep;
Awake, arise, all you who weep.
For on this holy day we find,
Our Savior, Lord, freed all mankind;
Saved from death, all those who wept.
Emmanuel His promise kept.
~Myrna Trauntvein


Kirsten wrote: I don't think so.  I think you were right with the period.  I thought fragments were ok in poetry if they were complete thoughts.  Does that make sense?  I might do a colon, because you need two complete thoughts for the semicolon to work.  First Easter morn, (describes the morn)  a world asleep.  Awake!  Arise!  All you who weep.  If I were writing that for an introduction to a story, I would leave them as independent thoughts.  The punctuation should be used to help the reader know how to "speak" it.  Right?

I think how you had it was fine.  Don't stress so much.  I find mispunctuation in scriptures even. :)