There is a Do Not Call List

Myrna wrote: Please do not send a card, an e-mail, a letter, a call or in anyway contact Uncle Don and Aunt Thelma. It turns out that he is not telling Thelma what is the matter with her for now. He has not discussed the problem with his children. Nathan's wife alerted her father, Dr. Stone, that he needed to help Thelma because something was dreadfully the matter with her. He contacted Don and they set up a physical examination where it was determined what was the matter. Therefore, Nathan and his wife know what is wrong. Jens and Carolyn know something is wrong. The rest do not and, apparently, none of the grandchildren know. That is the way of it. 

Whatever decisions have been made by Don, it is his decision to make. I do want to know, if anything of the like happens to me, as does Dad. 

I have caused much grief by not knowing, nor understanding, that I should not have sent e-mail information to Don. Helen thought that Thelma never used the computer. However, she does use it on a limited basis. Since this is all a secret from her, Don was afraid that she might see one of the mailings. He has been upset with me. He tried to call me to scold me but, luckily for me, Dad and I were not home. He talked to Helen about it and she relayed the information to me. He was also upset with himself and Helen that, even though he had granted permission to Helen to tell Eva and Dad, he had not made it clear that it was a secret being kept from the family in general and from Thelma herself.

Please keep their secret. Do not discuss it with anyone.

Love, M

Dear Helen From Myrna

I appreciate your expressions of love. I understand where Don is coming from and I will stay out of things. He is in the early stages of grief and I recognize that. I am alerting my children that they are to keep secret something that I should not have revealed. I am too open a person--if I bleed I usually end up bleeding all over everyone, not just myself. I did not understand that the information about Thelma was to be kept private and secret. I probably would have emoted to my children, who are my confidants, at any rate. However, they are used to me and the way I react to sadness, worry and concern. They just let me emote and let it go.

I know that is how you feel with Nanci and why you talked things over with her. Now that they have grown up, our children, they have become good friends to us, have they not?

I also believe that all family members want to be educated on all issues that concern any one of us. I do a lot of studying about the issue of senile dementia because I have concerns that I may have passed a physical weakness on to my children because of my own heritage. Therefore, for years and years, I have had an interest. In fact, our one doctor friend (Dr. Tatton) told me once that I probably knew as much as he did about the subject. A compliment but probably not true.

The love between us (Helen and Myrna), as family members and as sisters, is not affected. I will always love, admire and stand in awe of you and of all you have accomplished in life. That has not changed. I find no fault in you. I understand Don and his feelings. Could I undo anything, it would be undone. However, we all live with our choices, innocent or not. When one of my sisters became angry with me, she said that she would leave my God to judge me. She did not mean it kindly at the time, though she has mellowed some since, but she is right. My God will be my judge for he knows me well and knows the intent of my heart. My fault is that I should emote more to Him and less to others.

Remember, that you only wanted to do the right thing. You always have shown love and concern for others and you always will. That can cause you problems from time to time, to your view, but it can also bring you a lot of devoted fans (me included).
Let's just put this to rest. We will continue to love and pray for Thelma and for Don. I will put their names on the prayer roll. However, it is probably best if he does not know anything about any of that. His heart is too raw right now. I am sorry, if by e-mailing him I have caused him extra grief. I sent too much information too quickly. But I am done. I will not send more. That is the end.

Let us both look forward to a happy new year. A chance to begin again, repent, change, start over. I know that is what we should do every day, right?
I do love you, M

A special New Years Eve‏

Dearest Sister:  It is 5 p.m. on New Years Eve day and I have just arrived home. Left early this a.m. to work at the Ft, Union Distribution Center- Were extemely busy today.

Myrna, please be at peace with the situation of having sent e-mails to Don. As I told you when I called him back later last night, after he had called me about his concern, I did tell  him I accepted responsibility for having you send the article from the Readers Digest- told him you and I had spoken about it with you wanting to know whether I thought it would be okay. I told him I told you yes- my apology to him for anything he felt would intrude in not having information available to Thelma was given. I told him since he called me I had called Eva and you. He did tell me last night he doesn't want either Eva or myself to call to talk with Thelma, as she isn' t functioning too well on the phone. I reasured him his requests will be honored. He did tell me Dr. Stone had told Don not to say anything to Thelma right now- they have an appointment with Dr. Stone in the next week or so, to do further evaluation. Don is really trying to protect her as we can all appreciate.

This whole situation is quite devastating for all and has quickly made necessary some very drastic changes in their (Don and Thelma's lives.)

Myrna; please be at peace- I told Don intentions were good, there was no malintent.
Don is just having a terrific time right now and as he told me when we talked thd Friday before christmas he said he just didn't know what to do. This to be sure is about many things that are coming very quickly.

Oft times each person needs time to take a deep breath and reqroup- for Don this isn't an opinion at this time.

I want to apologize to you for having you go ahead and sent the article from the Digest- it would have been most appropriate for me to  indicate to you to not send anything until I had asked Don about it. So dear, I accept responsibility as I told Don- and I think we just the situation go and be extremely charitable to all-- it is a challenge, to be sure, none of us would choose, it the choice was ours.

All I can say is lesson learned for me- by now with all the years and various experiences one would think I would be ready to sprout wings and wear a halo-Guess what???Just isn't so.

Also, dear, as you and I spoke the other day you indicated you had always felt Thelma, Eva and myself had somethng going to us that you didn't and as a result you didn't feel quite up to us.( this may not be exactly what you said or meant, but was my perspection of what you said.)

Myrna, please know there is no truth in your perception as far as I am concerned. We are all very different, as was intended by our Creator, we all have gifts, different to be sure, and all have strenghts--all of this is a divine, eternal plan. Father and the Saviour has never and will never compare us or judge us except on our on merits. We need to be charitable with ourselves and do the same. Well, dear, I am going to close, clean the house, fix some supper and just enjoy the Christmas tree, decorations and all.
Please know how much I love and appreciate you dear- you could not be dearly to me if you were my blood sister- because gospel Sisters are all from the lineage of our Father and Mother in Heaven.

Have a special night and tomorrow with your family.

Love--Just me --your eternal Sister-Helen

I am a great-aunt again.

I am a great-aunt on the Pitts side of the family! Isn't that good news? Of course, that happened to me earlier when Charlotte and Cydney became grandmothers. But this is the first grandchild for Laurel. They are excited and so are the rest of us. 
Gus is the proud father, Janessa is the proud mother, and Laurel and Tom are the proud grandparents.

Little Garrett Gus Marinos was born on Dec. 18 at 8:47 p.m. He weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces and was 21 and one-half inches long.

Laurel said he has light brown hair, with a touch of red and has his mother's mouth. 
I saved the birthday card she sent me to open on my birthday. Inside the card was the good news!

Al Pitts wrote: I conclude then, that your birthday is December 29, 1941.


Love you 
al 


Myrna wrote: Nope. My birthday is December 24, 1940. You should conclude that my birthday is on December 24, 1940. I tried to see how I had mislead you but failed. Anyway, I am now 68 as of this
last birthday. Love, M 


Al wrote: Your wisdom is beyond my years, simply you are also beyond my years.
You're older than me, hahaha 

Todd Thank You

Todd wrote: Thank you for the Christmas cash. It will come in handy. I want to buy some add-ons for my motorbike. You will need to see it some day. Merry Christmas. I hope you liked your birthday present and other items.
Love,
T


Myrna wrote: We hope to come and visit soon and see the motorbike in person. Perhaps we could come on our way to or from Braden's graduation.

I am really pleased with the necklace. I have wanted one for some time but have not wanted to pay the price. So thank you.

Dad and I have been looking at mills because ours does not work anymore. Julie has the style you gave us so it is proved (meaning we know it works). Thank you for that also.

I actually received your addition to my birthday gift on my birthday! I had waited to open the gifts from all of you until the family who were coming for dinner all arrived. I had finished and we were setting the table for dinner when there came a knock on the door. The UPS worker had your package to me and I opened it right then. I was happy to have a garden tool apron that I can carry on my person. Dad is always teasing me that I have to locate the tools, and that it takes an hour, before I can begin any project outside. Now, he says, I have an apron and, if I remember to put it on the hook he just made for it in the garage, I will always have them handy.

Thank you.

Myrna wrote: We spent a quiet day alone, Dad and I, on Christmas. You can see more about it on the family blog site.

Did the kids like the books? I am sorry there is not an adult one. Maybe I can send two next year.

Love, M


Todd wrote: The kids loved the books. They all read them as soon as they were opened and Hailey had us read them to her. They commented that Grandma T always gets the best books. Everyone had an enjoyable time, I think. I am glad you are happy with your presents. It is hard to know what to get the people who have it all.

Myrna wrote: I am glad that the books were loved. My favorite parts of Christmas, next to family and visiting, was finding a quiet corner to read my Christmas book. As for having everything--we do. We have family and love and the gospel. As for the rest, well, I do want a new sewing machine. Dad gave me money for that. Now all I have to find is one I like. Love, M

Todd wrote: I forgot to tell you that Hailey’s card didn’t have any money in it and Tyler had $5 too much.  We’re not worried about it.

It would be nice to have you here after Braden’s graduation.  We have been here four years by then and you would have only made it once.  Time for a trip.

Myrna: The money is on the way. Thanks for letting me know. Love, M

Todd: We’re not worried about it.  Just wanted you to know in case you have misplaced some money.  Thank you.

Myrna: I did have $20 left and worried about why. Now I know. I have mailed the money to Hailey today. Love, M

Aunt Thelma

Myrna wrote: I suppose you all know that Aunt Thelma also volunteered at a home for those with Alzheimer's, dementia and other age-related medical problems. I suppose you know that two of Dad's friends, Lloyd Sundquist and Robert Jarrett, both have Alzheimer's. Lloyd loves LHT. He volunteers to do any assignment where he can have LHT for his companion. He tells dad that he can feel himself slipping a bit but he is still in the Sunday School Presidency. Robert is Dad's home teaching companion. He still remembers the past pretty well but he can't help teach the lesson but sometimes he prays. If I ever develop the disease and get really bad, I want to be put in a home where they offer specialized help and, as Melanie does, interesting projects for the patients. And as Dad says, I will have the opportunity to make new friends every day (the same ones--I just won't remember them from the day before).
Love, M

Melanie wrote: The interesting thing with the dementia disease is that past and present are the same in the patient's mind. Thus, when seeing your children, you start believing that they are your parents. It makes sense to me. In the end, those whom we cared for, end up caring for us. Part of that eternal round, I suppose....


Myrna wrote: Now you know why Rachel doesn't want to get old. She just wants to stay little forever and live with her mom and dad at her home. But I also do want to live in my home forever--this home. There are a lot of people who are blessed enough to be able to do that. I would like to be among them. 
----

Melanie Works With Dementia Patients

 I have been working with Alzheimer's and dementia patients for a little while now. It has been a rewarding and yet, sad experience. It is hard for me to see these strong willed people dwindle. I have had some amazing spiritual moments with them. They are all mothers, sisters, daughters, fathers, brothers, husbands. They have all been loved. Some more than others. When I read to them and look into their eyes, my spirit can feel their gratitude, even if they can't find the words to tell me. Their spirits are strong and beautiful. They hold my hand. They cry. They are afraid. Some of them have warm days, where the sun shines and all seems well. We love those days, even when our minds are healthy.  I have had testified to me that the atonement will work for them. Their spirits know who they are, even if their bodies don't. It has been a very rewarding experience for me.

There is so much new information about dementia and Alzheimer's. There are so many wonderful programs to help individuals and families. No longer do we put the older people behind closed doors. We encourage the young to visit. We encourage the patients to try to remember the things from their past that hold warm memories. We all have good memories. We read to them stories that they would have heard when they were younger. They might not remember the stories right away, but they will remember the feelings. We play games with them. Some things you never forget: how to catch a ball, how to kick a ball. (Your motor skills work in your behalf: when something is coming toward you, you push it away.) We do wheel chair aerobics. We play bowling, sing songs (sometimes as with a two year old, the same song over and over), and we even make crafts.

I never want to lose control over my faculties, but I know that Heavenly Father loves me and that Christ's atonement will protect me, even if I can't recall how to make my bed or tie my shoes.

When we sang the true carols of Christmas, all those who could speak, testified of their love of God and the belief of the ministering of angels, with tears in their eyes. None of them are LDS, just good God loving people.

Save the brain!

Myrna: But there is a difference between senile dementia and Alzheimers. In my family, it has been senile dementia that has bothered people. My great-grandmother (Pritchett) and my grandmother (Pitts) both had senile dementia. It was caused, in both cases, by strokes. I think that is what caused Uncle Max's problem, as well, though I am not certain. The effects are so much the same--forgetfulness, lack of patience, etc. So what do your doctors say is the cause of Alzheimer's? Isn't it, though the effects are the same, caused more by genetics? What do they do for Alzheimer's? I thought there were new medications they could give to reduce the problems. Love, M

Melanie: At the place where I work, the senile dementia patients have been years without exercise and without good health. The doctors there tell us all the time to stay active and reduce the fat in our diets, it will help to have healthy brains in future years.

 http://www.alzinfo.org/alzheimers-research-prevention.asp
Fisher Center For Alzheimer's Research Foundation
Can taking cholesterol-lowering drugs prevent Alzheimer's disease? Scientific evidence is growing for a link between the use of a class of cholesterol-lowering drugs called statins and reduced risk of Alzheimer's disease. Statins, which are prescribed to millions of Americans for lowering blood levels of low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol - the "bad" cholesterol - have been the subject of intense focus in Alzheimer's research ever since a series of epidemiologic studies found that people who took them have a lower incidence of Alzheimer's.Here's what some of the latest studies have found: Researchers at Boston University School of Medicine found that people taking statins reduced their risk of developing Alzheimer's by 29 percent. The study, the largest to date on this subject, tracked more than 2,300 participants and included African-Americans. Alzheimer's incidence was reduced equally in both whites and African-Americans. A team at St. George's Hospital Medical School in London found that using statins to reduce cholesterol levels dramatically lowered the production of beta amyloid in laboratory experiments. Beta amyloid is a protein that abnormally accumulates in the brain in Alzheimer's disease. The group has also shown that raising cholesterol levels increases beta amyloid production. A Tokyo-based research group found similar results, and identified a specific pathway through which statins may exert their effect on beta amyloid. Scientists at Georgetown University found that high cholesterol levels increase the rate at which beta amyloid breaks off from its "parent" protein and accumulates into the plaques found in Alzheimer's disease. They also showed that high cholesterol increases the production of another protein, called APOE, which contributes to nerve cell toxicity when overproduced. Other scientists are looking at the biochemical effects statins have within the brain. A team at the University of South Florida Health Sciences Center discovered that statins were able to block the toxic effects beta amyloid has on nerve cells, and seemed to act through an anti-inflammatory action. Inflammatory processes are thought to contribute to Alzheimer's in ways that are not completely understood.A large, prospective clinical trial is currently underway to try to determine conclusively if statins can prevent or delay the onset of Alzheimer's disease.

A Favor

We got the package today. We would have been fine to wait until Thursday. We got 2 books, 2 dvds and a cd and ornaments. There was also another dvd size package labeled "Tim and Myrna, love Eva." We'll bring that back down.

 Thank you very much.


Myrna wrote: Kimberly, please open Eva's gift and tell me what is inside, please. She gets nervous if I don't talk to her about it soon after Christmas. She will call and ask me if I got it. I would like to say that I had and thank her for whatever it is.
Love, M


Kimberly wrote: A DVD titled "The Christmas Card"

It looks really good, here's a synopsis from Amazon.com. I would watch it.  :)

Product Description: Once in a while, a movie comes along that reminds us how powerful love can be. In the midst of war in Afghanistan, Captain Cody Cullen (John Newton, "Desperate Housewives") is touched by lovely card sent by Faith Spelman (Alice Evans, "The Chris Isaak Show") from the small picturesque town of Nevada City, California. As months pass, the card never leaves his side, giving him the strength to survive and setting him on a mission to find her. The Christmas Card has received massive critical acclaim and audiences are raving. Now for the first time on DVD, Emmy-nominated (TBD) The Christmas Card is available with great bonus features and is the perfect gift for this holiday season!


Myrna wrote, Thank you very much, Kimberly. You have my permission to watch it before you bring it down. It does sound good, doesn't it? Love, M

The Special Gift

Thank you for the beautiful Mother's necklace. You can see it shining in the photo. I do love it. I have wanted one for a long time but have been too stingy to buy one. Thanks dear family.