Dear Helen From Myrna

I appreciate your expressions of love. I understand where Don is coming from and I will stay out of things. He is in the early stages of grief and I recognize that. I am alerting my children that they are to keep secret something that I should not have revealed. I am too open a person--if I bleed I usually end up bleeding all over everyone, not just myself. I did not understand that the information about Thelma was to be kept private and secret. I probably would have emoted to my children, who are my confidants, at any rate. However, they are used to me and the way I react to sadness, worry and concern. They just let me emote and let it go.

I know that is how you feel with Nanci and why you talked things over with her. Now that they have grown up, our children, they have become good friends to us, have they not?

I also believe that all family members want to be educated on all issues that concern any one of us. I do a lot of studying about the issue of senile dementia because I have concerns that I may have passed a physical weakness on to my children because of my own heritage. Therefore, for years and years, I have had an interest. In fact, our one doctor friend (Dr. Tatton) told me once that I probably knew as much as he did about the subject. A compliment but probably not true.

The love between us (Helen and Myrna), as family members and as sisters, is not affected. I will always love, admire and stand in awe of you and of all you have accomplished in life. That has not changed. I find no fault in you. I understand Don and his feelings. Could I undo anything, it would be undone. However, we all live with our choices, innocent or not. When one of my sisters became angry with me, she said that she would leave my God to judge me. She did not mean it kindly at the time, though she has mellowed some since, but she is right. My God will be my judge for he knows me well and knows the intent of my heart. My fault is that I should emote more to Him and less to others.

Remember, that you only wanted to do the right thing. You always have shown love and concern for others and you always will. That can cause you problems from time to time, to your view, but it can also bring you a lot of devoted fans (me included).
Let's just put this to rest. We will continue to love and pray for Thelma and for Don. I will put their names on the prayer roll. However, it is probably best if he does not know anything about any of that. His heart is too raw right now. I am sorry, if by e-mailing him I have caused him extra grief. I sent too much information too quickly. But I am done. I will not send more. That is the end.

Let us both look forward to a happy new year. A chance to begin again, repent, change, start over. I know that is what we should do every day, right?
I do love you, M